Passing by Belinda Roddie No one told Heather about her father's passing. She only found out through social media, and once the news hit, she saw more than just red. She drove like a bat out of Hell to her mother's house and almost kicked down the door with one solitary steel-toed boot. Her mother was not fazed by her daughter's rage. "You didn't deserve to be there for his memorial," she commented. "He wouldn't want a dyke seeing him lowered into the ground."

Slowly by Belinda Roddie Silently, steathily, I enter the bedroom where you have been sleeping for well over twelve hours. Gradually, you'll awake, but I don't want to force your necessary slumber to end after so many days of restlessness and fear. When you're ready, I will hold you again. I will kiss you. And slowly, but surely, you'll find the confidence to make love to me again. But I will not push it. I would never. And I will wait until you are absolutely, one hundred percent ready.

" Take the shot!" roared the sergeant. "I think I'd rather take a shot of vodka," I groaned, but I pulled the trigger and let the rifle shake violent in my arms. I missed - naturally - but the fact that I followed orders seemed to satisfy the maniac that was my superior. "Nice try, bucko!" he cackled. "Shoulda been quicker!" "Should be less of a dick," I muttered under my breath.

Episode by Belinda Roddie Tune in next episode for the thrilling conclusion of whatever this garbage is! Will Charlie have another episode over the feng shui of his new apartment? Will his gay lover Kevin finally confess that he only has one testicle? Will Carl actually accept that Charlie is his true brother? What the fuck am I watching here? Why isn't there a new season of Bake-Off yet! Daddy's got a need for some quality fucking content for once!

Slight by Belinda Roddie Ricki felt a slight pain in her arm as she twisted the screw in place. This was nothing new; she had fractured her ulna two years ago, and even after the cast was off, nothing felt right around the elbow. She would ice it and pop some painkillers later, washing them down with a couple of martinis. "That shelf turning out good?" her husband grunted from the couch, where he looked more and more like a gelatinous blob each passing day.

Leave by Belinda Roddie This was just hunky-fucking-dory, I thought to myself as I stared at my living room. My obnoxious coworker wouldn't leave, and my crush wouldn't stay. She claimed she had work the next day, which I thought was bullshit because I was sure she was still on staycation. Larry, meanwhile, was already demanding more pocket change from me to buy some of the worst beer imaginable. I was never going to throw a house party ever again, at this rate: it cost too much of my sanity.

Half by Belinda Roddie The two brothers agreed to split their kill in half, with one of them taking the dark meat and the other taking the white meat. It was quite a delicate process, dissecting and separating that monstrous chicken - it had been quite the urban legend in their town, and now they could bring home the spoils to their families. A legend such as this poultry could be quite delicious, after all, especially when served with rice.

Emerged by Belinda Roddie Well, Steve, it looks like two top contenders have emerged from the fray! First, we have Taylor Hamilton, a veteran martial artist who still remains a hero in her hometown. And then, here comes Lucy Dale, who has one of the best haymakers I've seen in all my twenty years of commentating on this battle royale. We'll just have to see who will come out victorious in the ring - and with all the rumors flying around about their past relationship, who's gonna stoke other kinds of flames!

Avoid by Belinda Roddie I had been trying to avoid my ex for over six months, and now, here we were, splitting a drink tab at Old Nelson's on Fifth and Locke. She had gotten grayer since I last saw her: A silver fox, I liked to joke whenever she got self-conscious. It did look good on her. Like precious metal working its way out of an otherwise straggly mass of mud. I downed another shot of tequila and groaned as I licked a swatch of salt off my wrist. I was too old for this shit.